The need to learn

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy near this one, I had the idea that I wanted to learn to do ART. I wanted to act or paint or draw. I even remember checking out and reading a book from the library when I was around 6 years old on how to find an agent for a child actor. I showed my mom: "That's nice, honey."

Mom did pay for a week of kid's summer classes at the local community college one year. I remember taking cartooning and an animation class and loving both, but resources were scarce for our family so that was pretty much the extent of Classes. The family was also religious back then, so I had to go to a small religion-based school that didn't offer electives—or people or resources to teach them.

So while I quietly envied anyone who seemed to have a natural talent for ART, and occasionally tried to "teach myself" how to draw or paint (remember, kids, there was no Tik Tok or YouTube way back then), 6-year-old me's want for creativity stayed staunchly on the back burner of life. Or ended up a type of mathematical modeling.

When I finally went back for my master's degree in my late 30's, I bought an iPad Pro so I could read and do schoolwork on the go. With an hour commute each way, it seemed like a great solution. My work had tuition reimbursement and a zero percent paycheck loan program to help us upgrade our personal technology, so I took full advantage of both programs.

The iPad as a schoolwork tool worked well-enough, and I wrote a lot of papers on that thing—I nearly wore out the magnetic keyboard I bought for it. I finally had the resources to choose, so I got the more expensive model with the idea that I could re-sell it after finishing my program. But...school took a little longer than I had planned.

By the time I finished my degree, re-selling didn't make much sense, but I coulldn't just keep it to play tower defense games. So what should I do with a slightly-too-expensive, just-a-little-too-old tablet? Once again, 6-year-old me's need to learn to create the ever so elusive ART surfaced again. I downloaded a few recommended free apps, which felt clunky or incomplete or for people who already knew how to draw. I eventually paid for Procreate. It was supposed to be a good program for beginners and experienced artists alike and a very small investment. I also bought an Udemy course on learning to draw with Procreate, because I was determined to actually follow along with some structured instruction. (I even got the fancy pressure sensitive Apple Pencil, too!)

And those all sat unused for I don't even know how long.

But something changed recently. I don't know what. I just needed to create. I started writing. I started playing with website builds again. I remembered that somewhere tucked in a corner of the RV was a stupidly expensive tablet stylus. And I logged in to Udemy and followed along and even repeated the excerises for the first few lessons on learning to draw with Procreate. And, it felt good! Not just the learning and creating and sharing and the fact that it's helping my aging brain form new wrinkles, but I'm finally following up on a(n almost) 40-year-old dream of learning to ART.

So here's my second attempt at a project, following Art with Flo's Easy Landscape tutorial. I like her aesthetic. I'll be doing more.